“One by one, I’ll face the tasks before me and complete them as best as I can. Focusing on each stride forward, but at the same time taking a long-range view, scanning the scenery as far ahead as I can. I am, after all, a long-distance runner.
My time, the rank I obtained, my outward appearance - all of these are secondary. For a runner like me, what’s really important is reaching the goal I set for myself, under my own power. I give it everything I have, endure what needs enduring, and am able, in my own way, to be satisfied. From out of the failures and joys, I always try to come away having grasped a concrete lesson. It’s got to be concrete, no matter how small it is. And I hope that, over time, as one race follows another, in the end, I’ll reach a place I’m content with. Or maybe just catch a glimpse of it.” (Haruki Murakami, What I Talked About When I Talked About Running)
In my writings, I always tell stories of other people’s lives. Yes, life, that sublime and surreal thing hidden in the gray smoke of uncertainty. In my stories, I seldom tell the story of my life and what I do with it. Mine is always hidden. Theirs are more open like lights coming through the curtains, waking you up. But I guess it won’t hurt to share a part of mine. Writing this is not an assurance of a life clear of gray smoke but we can give it a try. So, this time, let me tell you a little bit of my life. This one is for your taking.
Hi, I am Anne. All my life, I’m excited but scared.
I’m excited of this life that I headed and I am heading. It is thoroughly planned by God, my family, and myself. I graduated in a business school. I landed a job in the banking industry. I can say that I am starting to be financially successful. I am taking up my MBA, focused on finishing it. And then goes the DBA. I even managed to squeeze in travel in all these. Everything is according to plan. I have everything. At the same time, I am nervous. I am apprehensive of what tomorrow will bring or if there will be a tomorrow coming for me. But the thing I am scared the most is that, at the end of the day, after all these courses, the certificates, the salary and bonuses, I am still nothing. You know what I mean? I walk, most of the time run, through this path of life. I hurried fast to every finish line. I am very competitive. But looking back, I can only see the kilometres, the numbers, how far I did go. But what does that mean? What does this mean? Do I learn something from my run? Am I fulfilled? Am I truly happy? Have I done something?
It is not until three years ago that I found what all these mean. In December of 2013, my best friend invited me to do some volunteer works with a Gawad Kalinga village in Paranaque. No, we didn’t build houses. My best friend and I would like to call it “building small people’s lives”. Back then, we taught children to read and understand stories (think Adarna Publishing books) in English. We thought it was better to start with these story books because it requires the children to imagine. Imagination is important to a child’s cognitive development (I do sound like a Promil endorser here). It is basic but it really does matter. I am a firm believer that basic problems can be cured by basic solutions. No fuzz about it. At the same time, the kids always have a good time.
After each session, I often reflected on what the children learned and what I learned from them. In my class, there is only one golden rule: Everyone has to speak his or her mind.
In one of our most recent sessions, we let the children drew their feelings and aspirations. The work of one of the children strikes me the most. He wrote “Be-You-Tiful”. He explained this by saying that everyone is unique and that we need to respect each other’s perfections and flaws. We have different interests. He added that even if he is poor and he is not good in English, he has his dreams to pursue and no one has the right to stop them from coming true. He was then bullied. He felt unmotivated. But it is through the lessons from those story books that he learned to overcome all those.
Looking back at it now as I do this blog entry, I came to a realisation. For three years, I have the same sentiments as that boy, but unlike him, I have been silent. I endure what is there to endure. I just want to finish the race. I have all these potential, opportunities, and resources, and yet I am still a target for belittlement. But as what this boy said no one can stop us from making our dreams come true.
In conclusion, I can say that I am very fortunate to have all these opportunities and resources for me to finish every race. At the same time, I ask the question, how unfortunate it is for them that they don’t have what I have? But thinking about it, we, these kids and I, are the same. We are all human beings and we all have dreams. Our dreams are not of those kinds that are only embedded in our subconscious. They are meant to be real. Having these potentials to help, equipped by the lessons that these children taught me, and coupled with my experiences, the power is in my hands. This is why I, together with my best friend and some college friends created “The Thousand Books Project”. The Project does not only aim to donate story books to GK villages, but at the same time, motivate GK kids through storytelling. Continuous learning is my calling. Motivating children to aspire for the best is another thing. Let the children dream, they are meant to dream. Let them show it. No person is allowed to demean them. God has given me all the tools to help them. I have gifts. It is time to share it to them.
In the end, I hope that through this calling, I will be able to touch the lives of others and leave an impact on their hearts, no matter how little it is. And if tomorrow never comes for me, I pray that before I run at that last finish line of mine, I can look back at that life that is mine with smile on my face knowing that I learned what I need to learn, I live it as moral as possible, and I will leave it sublime and surreal with no trace of grey smoke of uncertainty.
Hi, I am Anne. With this life, I have never been this excited.
And you know what, I am no longer scared.
My life is a life well-lived.
No comments:
Post a Comment